When Ali Met Yeti

What’s new? My friend asked me at lunch the other day.

Did I lead with the fact that my last single son is getting married in October? No, I did not. Did I perhaps brag about our first grand-baby due in September? Negative.

I got a Yeti.

This was my big news and if you dare tell me that a Yeti is just an ordinary cup, I will tell you that your mother is just an ordinary mother. My friend looked at me dumbstruck. Huh?

Yes. Well. I got a Yeti. And because I was so dizzy with excitement about how life-changing my Yeti had been my sister Dorothy bought one, too!

I inhaled deeply then delivered in a single breath,

I take my Yeti everywhere. I’m like Linus with the blanket. I told Marsha about my Yeti love and the next time I saw her she had one!

Pausing briefly to take a sip of water feeling like JFK right before ‘“Ask not…’” I hurriedly pressed on.

Rebekah was the next sister to get one and then Judy. I’m telling you, my Yeti is everything!

The waiter filled our water glasses. I felt my eyes spiraling like a cartoon coyote as I took a bite of bread. Still chewing I recommenced.

My sisters and I also bought straws and Velcro handles for our Yetis which come in different sizes and colors. It’s like we’ve started an American Dolls Club with our Yetis…

I stopped talking and fell back into my chair (not unlike Meg Ryan as Sally at the conclusion of the café peroration). Expecting a barrage of Yeti questions, my friend instead looked me square in the face and asked about my grand-baby and the upcoming wedding. It’s like he wasn’t even listening.

Today I got this text from Joan.

Pierman peer pressure. It is real, y’all. I’m so glad none of us ever tried meth.

[Publisher’s note: The author is in no way endorsed or sponsored by Yeti. The author simply believes the Yeti to be the best thermos cup brand on the planet and may or may not be coordinating her toenail polish with her Yeti.]