Shut Your Pie Hole…I’ve Been Busy

by Alison

I’ve been away from the blog for awhile. You think it’s because I haven’t anything to write about? You shut your mouth. I have plenty. Here are snippets:

My reign as HRH Princess ended when one little grandson prince was born this September. It’s pretty clear The Husband has moved on to a new love…

The new king
My competition is not big but he’s formidable

My reign as nagging mother spouting, “Do something meaningful with your life and marry your best friend”, is over…

My newest daughter in law
Three boys, all married angels. My work is done.

I continue to fight the urge to unfriend anyone who uses this emoji: 🤣. I really can’t stand that guy. 

I took a test to match my personality to a country. I got Iceland where there’s a Penis Museum and no mosquitoes! And I say, “Förum!” (which means “Let’s go” to my people).

I got Iceland?
Who else got Iceland? Jeez.

 Our house in Arizona (aka The Casa) has been undergoing renovations for six years.. wait. The Husband just confirmed it has been just six months. We are living behind a plastic shield of shame thus my normally chipper Icelandic attitude is descending rapidly into an episode of Survivor. Or Donner Pass. Y’all, not to put too fine a point on it but we don’t even have an ice maker right now.Devil aka Tommy Lives in Fear

Devil, whom I now call Tommy (see above), can’t stand the construction chaos which has caused his toilet paper demolishing habit to spike to three rolls per week. One day we were gone for 30 seconds and he ate 100 corn tortillas. Someone call Ripley’s. He’s very fragile right now with the threat of Donner Pass, me being Icelandic and all that.

Just try to imagine the inside
Why Devil eats toilet paper

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: People keep butt calling me because my A name puts me first in their phone so I shan’t be taking your calls anymore. I’m talking to you Megan and Leighton. You, too, Mother.

Speaking of Mom. Last year in September she had two strokes back to back. We weren’t sure if she would move into long term care or assisted living. Well this year…

My 91 year old mom
She’s so stunning

A Pierman Sister in Paris blog is readying for a shot in the arm when we go for our annual Paris trip next February with not one, not two, but three sisters in tow. These teddy bears better still be hanging out or I am going to be sick! Förum!

THIS is happening in Paris RIGHT NOW!!
Teddy Bear Invasion à Paris!

That’s it. And that’s a lot. Stop telling people that I’ve lost my mojo. If you need me I’ll be behind a plastic shield of shame somewhere in Carefree, Arizona—a less appropriate town name could not exist right now—where I’ll be picking up Devil’s toilet paper and ignoring all your butt calls and learning more about my people, the Icelanders..  🤣🤣🤣

Categories: Arizona, Family, ParisTags: , , , , , , , ,

41 Comments

  1. You crack me up! Seriously, though, you have my sympathy if you’ve been in remodeling mode for six months. Six weeks of kitchen and bathroom remodeling just about did me in in 2015. I still have flashbacks. Talk about not getting any sleep!

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    1. Yesterday I yelled at the contractor because I haven’t had hot water in the bathroom for five weeks. Weird thing is that it’s not a room under construction and there’s hot water everywhere else! He’s infiltrating my dreams now. I’m likely to have PTSD. We need a support group.

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  4. Welcome back, Alison. All your news are fantastic. Congratulations on the birth of your grandson and well done to your mum for recovering so well from her strokes last year. The trip to Paris sounds brilliant, teddy bears or not: Forum to you too. 👍
    I am afraid to take that test in case the result gives me ‘Tierra de Fuego!😛

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  10. Yo Icelander, living in Arizona and pining for Paris! I, too, have been a bad blogger due to business – as in busy-ness, not the commercial sort of business – but nothing like your busyness. I even planned to write a blog post about it, but now, of course, I can’t do it. It would be like plagiarizing.
    The new daughter-in-law is stunning and the grandchild is adorable. I say both of these honestly and with no jealousy or competition, because I hope it will be a very very long time before I post corresponding pictures from my life.
    So it is now Alison – 3 to Circumstance – 0. I am going to go find out what country I am – I figure it can’t be that hard to beat Iceland. I’ll let you know.
    (P.S. Have missed you, friend.)

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    1. I wish there was a “love” button and not just a lame “like” button when I hear from you. Get to writing that busyness blog post. I want to see what you’ve been up to. I honestly pictured you veiled and in a perpetual state of mourning given the election season and all the mud slinging about. You really must take the quiz. Here’s hoping you get Iceland then we will confirm we are sisters from another mister. Cut and paste this link and report back. https://quizzes.howstuffworks.com/quiz/everyone-has-a-country-that-matches-their-personality-heres-yours

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      1. Forget the love button. A “Lame Like” button would be even more awesome. (Or would it be “Lamely Like”? Because that doesn’t sound as good.) I actually did try a quiz -but I think it was a different one. It said I was England and then gave me the option of trying for different results if I wasn’t satisfied. I wasn’t. I clicked. I tried being Brazil for a few minutes, but didn’t like that either. I clicked again. I am happy to tell you that I am now Italy and very well-bred and classy.

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      2. Get this: I took another quiz, same website, to see in what era I should have lived. I was sure I would get Jazz age (in Paris) but I got Stone Age! What does that even say about me? You loved Ireland so maybe you are British at least. But I’ll buy Italian if that’s what you’re selling. Go take the era quiz and report back. I need to see if they’ll let me retake. I don’t think I can keep the Stone Age.

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    1. Hey, you! I have missed your posts! Where have you been? Thank you for stopping by my blog. My mom is so cute. 91! And yes, my new daughter in law is simply gorgeous. She’s also bright and kind and thoughtful. The whole package.

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      1. I always went through spurts of not writing for long periods of time, mostly because I had no idea what to write about, haha. But I’m back for good!!

        Wow, 91. That’s amazing. Good for her.

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  12. Great post, Alison! Loved the reminder of Carefree – we lived in Scottsdale for awhile and I remember Surprise, too. Lots of great place names in AZ! Have a splendid holiday, or do the best you can as you renovate your home! 💕😊🎄

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    1. Thank you so much. We are supposedly “four weeks out” so looks like I’ll be ringing in the new year with my contractor! I love the desert. Best decision we ever made was buying a home here. Happy holidays to you as well!

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  13. Thanks for the chuckle, I absolutely adored this post. I had to resist the urge for THAT emoji to be pressed.

    What a busy time for you. Full of beautiful news especially your gorgeous grandson. Hope the work gets finished soon. Looking forward to reading more from you soon.

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    1. It’s so hard to ignore when it’s your 91 year old mother! How many times have I called her back panicked, “Mom? Is everything alright?” Mom: “Heh Heh! BUTT CALL!” (She likes to be in the know with young slang). Thanks for stopping by!

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  17. Hi Alison, thanks for liking my post. I was pleased to read your most recent ones again last night (especially the one night stand, where I guessed the outcome but loved the anticipation. You should write another – Fifty Shades of Greyhound, maybe! 🤣 Oops, banned emoji – unfortunately, I love him!). Great family news too – your mum ❤️ . By the way, you do ‘know’ me but via another (dormant) blog – if you’ve guessed, don’t give me away! Might revive it sometime, not sure – lots going on.

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    1. Oh, the intrigue! I have some idea of you and your former blog but I won’t give it away if I reach a conclusion. Can’t wait for your next post to ferret out some clues. Good to hear from you and thank you for the nice comments on my writing. Hope to have a burst of writing inspiration next month while we are in France again.

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