An Uncommonly Common Cold (Or What the Hell, World?)

I recently went to see the drive through doc. I had a black eye from a fall I took while fainting, a rash of blisters on my torso and a separated rib from coughing but the good news was my 101 degree fever had finally broken. The very young Physician’s Assistant ran a few tests then returned to my room and declared, “You have what’s known as the common cold”. Of course I do, Doogie, of course I do.

Because why not an uncommonly common cold? Things we never imagined are now common.

Yesterday I went to my favorite clothing store and my favorite sales clerk who used to dress and appear like a man was dressed like a woman and asked me to call him they.

A couple of weeks ago The Husband went to the grocery store for lemons but the store was out of lemons and declared they didn’t know when they’d be getting any more. The Husband drove by no fewer than sixteen lemon trees, full of lemony goodness, on his way home to tell me I’d not be enjoying my gin and tonic the way I commonly do.

It is common for the stock market to ebb and flow daily in graphs that look like the Pyrenees.

It is common for my pharmacy to be closed or for my medication to be unavailable.

Dr Fauci declared the Covid pandemic phase over while it has become common for a whole host of congress members to be out of commission with Covid. Meanwhile it is common to see some people continue to wear masks and will till their dying breath while others will die having never been masked.

It is common for my daily news feed to include articles of inflation, elections and war in Ukraine while also covering hard news like this:

Bah, what is common any more?

I talked to my 94 year old mom the other day. I had to explain that I’d been out of touch because of the litany of symptoms that had accompanied my “common cold”. She shared with me that one of her care providers had been exposed to Covid.

“Aren’t you afraid of getting Covid?” I tried to scream (laryngitis).

“Nah,” she dead-panned, “I’m more afraid of the common cold.”