Falling Back into Fall, Paris

France “fell back” and forgot to tell the airlines so we found ourselves stranded at the front door of our Paris apartment for over an hour. We were supposed to be meeting Juliette. I’ve learned that someone with a French sounding name is less likely to speak French than say a Fernando (our apartment concierge). So when our Philippine greeter, Juliette, finally met us at the door and said, please no French it’s too hard, I didn’t feel let down. She showed us our apartment in a flurry. Please always always lock the door like this she would say while demonstrating how to secure the two steel doors with 80 locks each. Having covered the basics of how to avoid getting robbed and murdered she spent very little time showing us how to light the stove or use the washer/dryer which is never as simple as hitting the power button. At last it was time for her to leave so she backed out of the apartment invoking the name of Jesus repeatedly saying, please lock the door behind me.

We aren’t scared of the devil though, there are rumors of bedbugs all over France. All my clothes are divided by category and placed in sealable bags. I’ve investigated every spot on every wall with the declaration that, yes, bedbugs are everywhere. I got a bite on my hand and went sailing down the 100 foot hallway looking for The Husband who’s just a lousy lawyer so he can’t medically treat me. It wasn’t a bedbug. We haven’t really seen any. I can’t help but feeling let down.

It’s actually a terrific apartment, quite large with a kitchen that seats 8 plus, a formal dining room. I was here for less than two hours and had the living room completely rearranged. No surprise for anyone who has met me. There are a 3 bathrooms but only two with toilets because, France. My requisite bathtub is a 3-person jacuzzi (I don’t ask, I just report) with a 30% grade change, so steep that someone is bound to get injured and then I will have to report in French, “I hurt myself, the leg” or “she broke herself, the arm”.

We met Rochelle and Rich (my niece and her husband) for lunch on the first full day here. Later we were going to meet them for a silent movie but by 4:30 The Husband was waning. He thought of 27 ways to say he didn’t want to go before I finally relented. He knew I was mad. I’ve been talking about this silent movie gig for a while. They have a piano player! No worries. He was on the wrong side of the argument so now I have a “shame on you” card to play tomorrow.

Can’t wait to use it.