Just Staying Afloat

For over a year I’ve been metaphorically treading water. And though I might portray on the outside, “Come on in, the water’s fine”, On the inside I’m Steve.

Covid was the springboard, of course, then came the summer of 2020 when protests got hijacked by looters and vandals. It was like that kegger in high school that seemed like a good idea until the rest of the senior class showed up. Only instead of a broken lamp in your parents’ living room it was the plate glass at Nordstrom’s and instead of a cigarette hole burned into the rug, the police precinct was on fire. Still, there were no adults present and it wasn’t fun when the sun came up.

My dog got mauled by another dog right after he lost his eye.

There was the election. Accusations of vote stealing were matched bite for bite with rumors of voter suppression. Spoils spoils spoils, though the victor was not immediately known.

I got braces.

January 6 happened.

For a flicker of a moment when the guy with the R was gone and the D’s rage quelled to a simmer, when I and my husband were vaccinated and the Covid counts were coming down I felt hopeful. But here we are—it’s summer again. I just passed the springboard on my way to the high-dive.

My hairstylist and friend died from Covid (July)—she was going to get the shot when it was FDA approved (August). There is no way to convince the unvaccinated to reconsider. Believe me I’ve tried to the point of fracture.

There was an earthquake in Haiti—bigger than the one that sprouted non-profits to form and celebrities to show up but this one doesn’t even make the chyron.

California is on fire— both literally and figuratively. Florida. There is a reason for the Florida Man game (look it up). Meanwhile the governor of New York has just resigned amid several crises. Remember that kids… more than one crisis is crises. This knowledge will come in handy it seems.

I had earwax removed. It took two grown men and a device called an alligator to extract a cornucopia from my ear.

Speaking of cornucopia (=worst segue ever) a hurricane is coming and it looks like it will be a bullseye over Louisiana. Landlocked Germany is under water and Sicily’s temperatures peaked at 120–that’s Fahrenheit but you were right to wonder.

Inflation is the highest it has been in 30 years. I can’t buy paint because it’s $96 per gallon and don’t even get me started on bacon.

In related news, the national debt has topped $28 trillion. That’s $28,000,000,000,000. Sometimes a zero is a lot.

And 13 members of the US military were killed this week. This as we declare the war is over. Back when we were still at war these heroes were alive and at peace. Who can figure.

Gulp.

Can you believe it’s September and I’m still swimming? Come on in, the water’s fine.

Thank you for reading. If you decide to comment please don’t make it political. This is about Steve.