On Christmas Eve, The Husband and I played a game of Scrabble. This is only interesting when you know we used to Scrabble every Christmas but the past two years have left us solemn and the Scrabble board stayed in the cupboard. When we filled up all four corners of our Scrabble board AND used all our tiles this year, I thought my writer’s block of 2020-2021 could be cured and I made myself a promise that I would blog more frequently in the new year.
I had stopped writing because the words wouldn’t come. I would start and then end up writing something like fffffffuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkk! Then I would hear The Husband’s voice in my head, “Come on, Ali. You’re smarter than that. Use your words!” And I would put away my writing again. And wait. For the words.
Twenty four hours after I had made my pledge to blog more often, I had a golf ball pinched between my shoulder blade and the seat cushion trying to massage away “this weird pain”. The next day I tried to walk the dog while crying to The Husband that “this is the worst pain I’ve ever felt”. By Wednesday I was begging to be slaughtered.
Thursday I could only mouth, “Mommy”.
It was New Year’s weekend during the world’s worst pandemic so going to the doctor was not an option. I stumbled through the days intaking 5mg hydrocodone pills from a 2016 surgery, rationing them like a butt on a duck at Donner Pass. When the rash on my back appeared on Friday, I was able to confirm my own diagnosis of shingles. That same day Betty White died.
Apologies to all of those whose ears and eyes this hurts. The Husband is reading this and….3, 2, 1,…he is saying, “Use your words!” I will tell him now as I’ve told him a thousand times before, (in my Okie vernacular for emphasis),“These IS My Words!”
If you’ll indulge me for using My Words when more eloquent words won’t come, I will promise to blog more regularly. Here’s to a clean slate and a new and better year for us all. And to my dear pal, K, who passed away in December, I will miss you… beyond words.
Below photos were taken in December, before shingles sucked the life out of me