Just Give Me Some Bird Legs to Hold, Please (Last Day Melbourne, First Day Hayman)

I’ve yet to break a 100 in any golf score outside the continental US. Our last golf course was called Kingston Heath—you know the course where the next President’s Cup will be played?

Once again we were required to have caddies. By celestial error, Jack was back as my caddie. He wanted to learn some southern slang from me. I taught him, “Bless your heart”.

No dramas (that’s Aussie speak). Golf isn’t even my favorite hobby. When I chatted in French with Lily on DuoLingo about my hobbies, I told her I was happiest with a paintbrush in my hands. She heard, “I am happiest when I have the legs of a bird in my hands”.

I mean, haven’t tried that but…

After golf, there was to have been a wine award for the winner, determined three different ways. But Cap—the obvious winner— had to hurry away because Princess was feeling worse than yesterday. 

Back at the hotel, we ordered pizza (minus Princess), cracked open the wines that Rob had purchased for us, and were filled with melancholy when Cap reported he and Princess would not be joining us on our trip to Hayman Island the next day. 

Ah, Hayman Island. Getting there was a very White Lotus vibe (Netflix series, very weird, someone always dies). The beauty literally took my breath away. 

You notice right away the birds. They are everywhere. The cockatoos with their milky white bodies and crested heads, the seagulls—using their sneaky skills to distract you so they can steal your food, the bats—not a bird but a mammal called a flying Red Fox blanketing the sky at dusk.  And then there’s this guy:

He walks about, often with his wife for life, and just wanders in and out of restaurants. Our waiter said, “He’s very polite. He waits for food to hit the floor then often he and the wife will say to each other, ‘no, you go ahead and eat it.’” I love this bird. 

I’d be happiest if he would let me hold him. You know, with his legs in my hand.

Say a prayer for our Princess. She made all our arrangements here on Hayman. It’s heartbreaking that she “missed the boat”.